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From Mark to Mom

To Mom,

What the fuck is going on? School just started again and already shit’s starting to get out of hand. Why couldn’t this just be a normal day? I guess I should you what happen, huh? I was going about my day as usual til this afternoon and I saw this girl. Now don’t go thinking that I fell in love on the sight of her something much worst happen. She was standing on top of a building edge and was looking down. I was in utter shock. Part of me couldn’t believe what I was seeing, other part was waiting to see if she jump and a small part wanted to catch her or at least stop her. Before I knew it my body was moving and I found myself on the roof of the building looking at her. I can still feel my heart beating out my chest. I very cautious on my approach but she knew I was there from my breathing. I remember the broken look her face had as she turn to face me it was the same look a girl had last semester. But I’ve seen the ledge girl before but I couldn’t remember and didn’t matter at the time. She had a gun in her hand and pointed it towards me. She wanted me to leave but I told her I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. She then pointed the gun at her head. I asked “Why she was doing this?” and she responded with “Because of you, People like you, and just people in general. No cares about anyone. We all live for pleasing ourselves and don’t care who we hurt in the process. That’s why I’m doing this. To show there is a consequence for everyone actions.” I asked “But who are you doing this for?” She replied with “My family. To show my parents that they had a daughters that were so vile that they drugged their little sister and allowed her to be rape by some dude from a partying. To show my sisters how much they had destroyed me over the years and through their finally act. They won’t understand any other way.” I saw her cock the gun with her thumb. She closed her eyes and took a breath. Her hand was shaking a little bit as she put her finger on the trigger. I could tell she had already accepted her death by how relax she looked. “Wait!” I shouted, “You don’t have to kill yourself. Just leave. Become dead to them but not the world. A girl once told me that we all have a purpose in this world. You dying here isn’t your purpose. If you die here your sister won. If they are willing to drug you do you think they truly care about you. Your parents aren’t the best parents if they didn’t stop your sisters. They don’t deserve to be the reason you take your life.” I slowly step closer and closer to her as I spoke. It was tense I look dead at her and only her. She open her eyes and looked at me. I felt this piercing chill run down my body. “If you pull that trigger, nothing in this world will change. You will be talked about for a little bit but ultimately forgotten by society at large. You’ll be a martyr without a cause or worst yet another suicidal teen. If you pull that trigger, than the selfish and ignorant win. Live and change world. If you need help I’ll be with you, I promise.” I was now directly in front of her. A tears were flowing down her cheeks. She was shaking violently. I slowly reached for the gun and takes away from her. She quickly jumps and hugs me and lets go of all of her pain. I’ve only been held as tight as she held me and that was the day you killed yourself when I was five. I couldn’t do anything to help you but I want to let you know that I helped someone in the same situation. Funny thing is she kinda decided to stay in my dorm room. Fortunately I live in a single. Its kinda cramped with two people especially with me sleeping on the floor but I’ll manage. Her name is Mara, by the way, and she reminds me a lot of you now that I think about. I promise to you that as long I live she will never be alone. I might have found my purpose.

-Your little Marky

P.S. I also saw this phoenix image on the building across from where Mara and I were. I don’t know what it means but was nice seeing it at the time. It was kinda inspiring.

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